This Term 3 Break

Finish my 1st Year End Final Exam on 19 September 2008.
In a nutshell, I was not satisfy with my exam.
Haiz… Soon become a saturnine girl lo…

This Term 3 is really quite suffering for me:

My precious K850i drop into…
Accepted my internship to Kuching but rejected with ridiculous reason.
No internet provide 1-2 month, assignment done in college last minutes.
Continuously fall sick - high fewer, flu, diarrhoea, food poisoning.
Heart attack when heard my father…
Expose dirty secret for so many years had been cheat.
Friendship was slightly all gone.
I was cheating in Assessment

Enough!!! Enough!!! Enough!!!
Not I was naïve. Not I was weak. Not I was good for nothing.
Is all thing comes together, naked all the true.
I was no energy to face with.
Please la… Any challenge can come one by one?
Force to the dead corner, but I still need to smile everyday.
My mood easily change, I cant control myself.
I run, I escape, I sleep
But why still can follow me???
May I know why?
I think is I cant bear it down, so…

Just let the problem pass.
Just let yourself free.
Just let… Just let…
Want cry but no tear.
You know this is what kind of suffer called?
I was no really laugh before in this term.

If you are lying at me, please don’t. Just let me know the true.
Because I’m the person can easily to forgive someone.
But if let me know the true after, you had make the scar between us.

This term having break for 2 week, really hope can have vacation.
Actually really plan going back with Jact or Farah to Penang.
Then, walk around there alone.
But I had overspent must control myself.
If not ar… All my money will gone de.

Now I just want to relax my mind.
I don’t want to think so much anymore.
I just want to be far away from the horrible.
I set my new target.
Hope before I graduate I can use my own money went out of country for vacation.

Hope can go South Korea
*But too expensive, have to save a lot
*Purpose visit their countryside
*Meet So Ji Sub there

Hope can go Vietnam
*Not so expensive, while saving still enough money for me spent
*Purpose having nature tourism there

Hope can go Cambodia
*Not so expensive, while saving still can J.CO ~ B.Robbin ~ S.Recipe
*Purpose visit Angkor Wat, experience archaeology tourism

So must saving from now.
No more camera phone C905. (crazy with camera phone)
No more brand collection paper bag. (crazy & stupid colletion)
Continue donate to charity as I can. (crazy force people donate together when I birthday)
Continue invest to origin musical CD. (crazy with piano player Maksim)

So much I wrote, feels happy now?
Just like my friend-klaugh said, cant continue be a “da xiao jie”.
Ya, before Shirnie are not like this.
Ya, need revolution.

Must started happy all the time as before.
Be happy de nienie~~
All the best to your internship during this 3 month la…
Happy… Happy… Happy…

Cheating in Exam - 做弊 - Tiruan

September 23, 2008
Had you try before? Bother you try before or not, isn’t important for me.

Haiz… But I had done this bad… bad for my image, bad for my reputation and more worse bad for myself!

Start from I enter college, that make me felt sorry to my father not I was rebellious is I cheating in exam. I believe all parent in this world hope their kids can get a very good result in his or her life. Instead, if we get a good result with cheating our parent will felt happy?

I . Some parent will treat their kids nice meals after felt very disappoint.
II .Some parent will angry but after they will proud with their kids result and show-off.
III .Some parent pretend not mind at all but in their mind, they knew this is truly bad.
IV .Some parent more worst, all in above.

For my father I think is all in above. Doesn’t meant that my father worst lo…Is he knew that in this competitive society can’t without A+ +.

Nowadays, everyone wants the best, so make people want be the best. On the ways be the best, they will choose the best short cut to achieve the best goal. Best of the best are not easy to be. Conversely, it was very easy make a person choose the negative journey to be the best.

Last week, Gallelio System Assessment, although is open book are allow but I still ask my friends how to do. This term, this subject I dislike most. Although Mr. Boey explain very clear, but I really can’t absorb even half of it. Why? I think I clear with the reason. 4 Assessment of the subject, four times I feel I was very no brain at all. The code are given, the answer was there, why you can’t do? Similarly, Mathematics sure can get 100% full mark, why you can’t make it? Not the target I set is too high, is the attitude I have I know is too low (Flo Rida ft. T-Pain - Low). Just like the genre of this song, not serious!!!

Only the subject I ADMIT I cheating in exam.
I don’t like doing this. I hate…
But…I had…
Haiz… Die on Gallelio.
Make me feels soon become the people good-for-nothing liao la.
Haiz… I don’t want became like that lei.
Please no next time!!!

My father sure disappoint I choose the negative journey. Due this reality social, had make him pretend don’t anything that I had done. He just want me stay in all the best. So he always said what had you choose, what the final you need to face with. Because of this, I understand that, if a piece of white paper got only a very small black liquid on it, consider not a white paper already.

My family rules are not strict because I rebellion all the time.
My own rules are strict because I knew I was rebellious.
That why now I felt I no rules at all.
Hey Shirnie Tiew, where is going your life principles? You really want rebellion and destroy your own life is it?
Ya, must wake up now, must be responsible to your own.
I really can’t stand at my mood now, felt really bad. Just likes I had kill somebody.
Maybe you think I too serious on it, but cheating in exam really sin for me.
Feels so sin, sin feels me.
But don’t why I won’t feels I was wrong when I supplied answer to my friends, but I feels wrong when I get answer from friends.

Be Defeated @_@

妮的愛情故事 - 第四章

我看过很多
电视剧与卡通
有一种坚持
有一种期待
有一种努力
有一种满足
有一种方向
只为了一个单单纯纯的梦想
常因为他们的那份为了梦想而努力的心情
单纯的想着,渴望的达到
不管会多困难,多辛苦
即使受到了挫折,依然是坚定的笑了
就因为这样,这样单纯的感觉,我被感动了。。。
我才发现,为什么
有的人说人因梦想而伟大
我渴望知道自己的梦想
可是我并没有那种
我很想要得到的东西或事情
真的很想要有一个梦想

爱情
令人费解的一门学问
复杂 简单 等于
很多种的方程式
人与人之间的
背景 性格 关系
机缘 朋友 感觉
都是帮你选择了,其中一种的方程式去跑你的爱情路
有些人可以很简单的得到一生的最爱
有些人用尽了一生都寻找或得不到最爱
有些人需要经历了很多的困难
有些人得到了却又放手
有些人却违背了自己的心意
有些人单纯的开始却要因为别人放弃了
太多种的可能,太多种的假设
不管哪种,到最后都会有一个,需要自己去承担的答案

爱情总是开心的事情
却也逃不开现实的约束
往往因为对对方的爱,牵引了很多的误会
也许有些误会,就让你永远的失去幸福了吧
一生只有一个最爱的人吗
真的只有一个吗,还是不是呢
我不懂,到底
把对一个人的爱转移到另一个人的身上
是什么样的感觉

我想要喜欢的人
要是一个很单纯
想哭就哭,想笑就笑
性格脆弱却总装出一副爱逞强的样子
说的话也总是为了让别人更好
心很软,但是爱上了一个人
却会从此死心塌地
单纯的只是想要对方知道
很天真,很瞎
也总是很容易就能满足了
却是能散发出一种吸引别人的特质
能遇到这样的男孩,我想会让我的视线被他吸引吧
可以想想真不错

梦想与爱情
看起来不太搭的两件事
但是却可以互相的融入其中
梦想中可以因为有了爱情而更美丽
爱情中可以让有些的人视为其梦想
一句简单的话语
一个单纯的感觉
加起来,应该会变成幸福的感觉吧^^


可是
如今的我不知处在于什么样的状况下了
很不清，真的难表达出来
我
最讨厌麻烦，这种难解的问题还真不想去烦
有人告诉我，要是这段爱会让你犹豫
那肯定你还不够爱他
对
我明白了，终于都明白了
我还很自私，我还放不开
我不愿意与他分享我现在的一切
我怕，我怕我会失去现在我所有
就当我自私吧，但他是无辜的
我就真要，真舍得，真抛弃－－他
哦，我是否该坦白的告诉他
我其实爱上他了
他做的一切没有白费
还是不要告诉他
因为最终我还是会残忍的舍弃他
没白费不代表有结果
我会作出什么决定
我还不知
拿得起，放得下
不管是在于坦白或隐瞒
我都玩不起
还真不想错过
往往错过就很难在有转机
错过一次还不够吗
还要在来一次吗
还要在独自一角难过，后悔，自责
到最后，我不哭，只心会伤
还要来多个暗伤吗
要记得暗伤没得恢复得意啊
抉择。。。

GirlThinking

瞎话人生

最近我不知又怎么了
最近我不知又疯什么
讨厌人的妮人思想又突然的浮现
人是
虽然就只有那两笔画
但你可知道
人是
多么的千变万化（画）
是多么的多么恶心
今天跟几个朋友叙旧
昨天就跟侯老师庆生
哇。。。
压抑着心里的那股闷气还是难以消除
反而变得更加生气
就只能说难以给知己个心服答案
当初我老豆答应让我读心理学时
是多么的上下不安
因为
平时的我对人已经有点研究
因为这种不健康的情况下所知道了难以接受的事实
所以会因为这样而
开始装
开始扮
开始逃
可悲的是
事实始终是事实
我必须
承受
承担
承认
后来的我开始试着给自己个机会
从个健康的情况下学习什么是人
但最终选择当只驼鸟
一只站在风沙迷雾的驼鸟
驼鸟不断的寻找水源
越是前进越是的怕
怕到了尽头只能接受那片沙漠是无水之漠
没关系那就算了贝
人
有信字可言吗
难找
所以我常与瞎话做伴
累了
真的林黛玉了
感性的我
多愁善感透了
几时才能过眼云烟
几时才会看破世间红俗
盼